when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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