I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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