her vagine was all disorganized.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize