when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
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