Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
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