That's intense
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
