You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
