Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
