if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Randomize
