You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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