So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
