It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
