just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.