In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on