Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
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stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
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Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.