would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.