We're like a lot better than the average bears
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
he fucked my hip out of place.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
