3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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