I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hippo gnu deer
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
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