do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
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