How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
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Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
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