no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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