Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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