found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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