I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain