I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?