i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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