Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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