He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize