So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
We are two peas in an std pod
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize