I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?