Texts From Last Night

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  (516): View more from New York

  i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right

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  (516): i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right http://tfl.nu/qyre
  Replies (1) Good night (1862) Bad night (533) Order T-Shirt
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  (845): View more from New York

  Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul

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  (845): Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul http://tfl.nu/g7t1
  Replies (4) Good night (593) Bad night (3251) Order T-Shirt
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.

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  (404): Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket. http://tfl.nu/i4q7
  Replies (15) Good night (4366) Bad night (808) Order T-Shirt
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...

  (708): View more from Illinois

  I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....

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  (630): He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now... (708): I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come.... http://tfl.nu/k2gw
  Replies (20) Good night (4861) Bad night (1049)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?

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  (605): I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF? http://tfl.nu/tx7k
  Replies (14) Good night (5699) Bad night (922) Order T-Shirt
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."

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  (404): He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on." http://tfl.nu/t6j5
  Replies (2) Good night (4927) Bad night (702)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"

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  (214): I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?" http://tfl.nu/quj5
  Replies (15) Good night (7135) Bad night (758) Order T-Shirt
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.

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  (781): Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person. http://tfl.nu/31bd
  Replies (3) Good night (2517) Bad night (1223) Order T-Shirt
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  (207): View more from Maine

  Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????

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  (207): Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport???? http://tfl.nu/yffg
  Replies (11) Good night (753) Bad night (3157)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?

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  (410): I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth? http://tfl.nu/108c
  Replies (7) Good night (1259) Bad night (523) Order T-Shirt
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  (760): View more from California

  Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.

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  (760): Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now. http://tfl.nu/d97x
  Replies (6) Good night (580) Bad night (1432)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.

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  (248): Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend. http://tfl.nu/0gh5
  Replies (10) Good night (3377) Bad night (520) Order T-Shirt
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.

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  (847): there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk. http://tfl.nu/7c5f
  Replies (5) Good night (1120) Bad night (489) Order T-Shirt
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.

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  (302): I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever. http://tfl.nu/6hp3
  Replies (2) Good night (722) Bad night (252) Order T-Shirt
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding

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  (267): only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding http://tfl.nu/47vz
  Replies (3) Good night (698) Bad night (177) Order T-Shirt

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