please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
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He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
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Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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