I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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