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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.

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• (917): View more from New York City

  Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.

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• (813): View more from Florida

  There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it

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• (251): View more from Alabama

  i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once

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  21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (207): View more from Maine

  I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.

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• (803): View more from South Carolina

  some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers

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• (704): View more from North Carolina

  You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.

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• (207): View more from Maine

  He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.

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  19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (317): View more from Indiana

  What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?

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• (407): View more from Florida

  Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.

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• (618): View more from Illinois

  I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.

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• (858): View more from California

  His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.

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