remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
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Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
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Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.