Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(719): View more from Colorado

wanna go halves on a baby?

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(416): View more from Ontario

Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.

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(850): View more from Florida

You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.

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(985): View more from Louisiana

I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.

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19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Read it at the TFLN blog
(919): View more from North Carolina

is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.

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(812): View more from Indiana

Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.

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(616): View more from Michigan

my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!

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(408): View more from California

I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol

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