I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
i may or may not be watching the land before time
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
