i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
birth control should be required to get into college
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
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