like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
