Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Randomize
