I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize