i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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