My liver just broke up with me...
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize