Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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