good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar