just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
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He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
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I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Randomize