Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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