if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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