Need sex. Gaining weight.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
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