I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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