There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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