dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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