Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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