I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
