I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
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Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
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I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.