I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
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Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
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