I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
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Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom