so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.