Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize